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SwagSloth

NSFL GM

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Jan 14 2018, 11:38 PM
Yellowknife Wraiths Fan Newsletter


Welcome to the First Edition of the Wraiths Fan Newsletter!

This unofficial Fan Newsletter will discuss team news and events and will hopefully be part of a larger series to come.

This edition will focus on the S5 mid-season following the events of week 6.



Team Record

The Wraiths kick off the season with a 5-1 record, starting S5 off on a high note. Many experts have placed the team at the top of the charts and even those that disagree consider them to be a consensus top 2 team. After surprising fans across the league last season with a breakout performance, the Wraiths have entered the new season with a stacked roster and are already seeing great results. After winning their first 3 games, the Wraiths found themselves as the only undefeated team left standing in either conference, but lost in week 4 to the reigning Ultimus champions, the Orange County Otters, who also defeated the Wraiths to win the championship last season. The Wraiths managed to bounce back with wins over both the San Jose Sabercats and the Los Vegas Legion, but the blemish on their record still stands.

Much like the Wraiths, the Otters have retained an impressively stacked roster from last season and also find themselves at 5-1. Both teams are considered to be the most likely contenders for the S5 Ultimus and, as a result, have developed a budding rivalry. Fans are eagerly awaiting the rematch as the Otters head to Yellowknife in week 11, but before that game can take place, both teams have a series of challenges ahead as they work to defend their positions at the top of their respective conferences.



Six 100+ Yard Games by Two Receivers

To the surprise of many, Yellowknife lays claim to not just one, but two receivers with over 100 yards per game this season. Bailey Cook stepped up in S4 after the team lost former WR1 Josh Garden to free agency, lured away by a lucrative contract with the Arizona Outlaws. Cook totaled over 1100 yards in S3 and over 1200 yards in S4, maintaining his success without the help of Garden, who previously help him form one of the most dangerous wide receiver duos in NSFL history. This season, he’s already exceeded over 100 yards in every game this season, putting him on pace for over 1400 yards. He also finds himself averaging 1 Touchdown per game, proving that this star receiver’s production is not to be questioned.

Far more surprising is the continuing emergence of Running Back Eric Kennedy. After seeing a drastic transformation over the previous two seasons, many expected Kennedy to take over the starting Running Back spot or at least form a committee with Season 1 MVP Bubba Nuck, but Kennedy continued to rotate into the passing game and it’s been hard to argue with the results. Coming out of week 6, the former back-up Full Back has quickly established himself as the current #1 receiver in the league, ranking 1st in total catches (59), receiving yards (833), and touchdowns (8). The top Touchdown ranking is tied with Josh Garden, who was recently traded to the Philadelphia Liberty and who also remains one of the top receivers in each category. Unlike traditional wide receivers like Cook and Garden, many of Kennedy’s yards come from YAC (Yards After Catch), forcing defenses to spread thin as the Wraiths find themselves able to pick up yards from both the backfield and their long-range threats like Cook. It’s an unconventional approach, but so far, it appears to be working. Some organizations have been critical of the Wraiths lining up a Running Back at multiple spots previously reserved for traditional receivers as Kennedy has not made an official position change, but the strategy’s success could lead to others adopting it if it continues to produce similar results throughout the season. For those particularly critical of Kennedy, he has continued to support Nuck as a back-up RB, averaging 3 carries a game at 3.8 yards per carry.

Of course, a lot of the credit has to go to Mat Akselsen, who moved into the Quarterback role last season after former Wraiths QB Chris Orosz was traded to the Sabercats. It was a risky move, but it also proved to pay off as the former lineman now finds himself as the only QB to support two receivers averaging over 100+ yards per game. Gosh Jarden (the former Ethan Hunt) is also averaging almost 70 yards per game, though he did exceed 100 yards in the week 3 game against the Outlaws, a career game as Akselsen as he was able to help all 3 receivers reach the 100 yards threshold. We’re also told that the Wraiths are hoping to get newly acquired Tight End Franklin Harris Jr. more integrated into the air attack as he continues to acclimate to the team’s playbook and offensive schemes. Sources close to Akselsen say that he isn’t satisfied with seeing 3 receivers break 100 yards and that he hopes to see Harris reach that same level of play. If the superstar Quarterback has his way, opposing defenses may have a hard time determining which receivers to cover.



Wraiths Acquire DE Fuego Wozy, Rookie Cameron Taylor Impressing Officials

In a shocking trade, the Arizona Outlaws traded their top Defensive End Fuego Wozy to the Wraiths in exchange for Wraiths’ Safety Jogn Floggity and a conditional S7 3rd round draft pick. Floggity impressed coaches earlier on, but started to see limited success as his time with the Wraiths went on. Sources close to the Outlaws say that they see a lot of potential in Floggity and feel that a move to a new team may invigorate the Safety, who could be a tremendous asset to their Secondary with the right motivation. The Wraiths were said to be holding out hope for Floggity and still saw him as an essential part of their defense, but sources inside their camp say that they saw a lot of value in Wozy and felt they had to jump at the chance to add him to their line-up this season. The addition of Wozy adds some impressive depth to the team’s already outstanding defensive line as he’s expected to leap past Blaster Blade and immediately move into a starting spot. Blade recently announced that he is retiring at the end of this season and, while his reasons remain a mystery, this blockbuster trade and Blade’s subsequent movement into a more limited role have led to rumors that the retirement may be injury related. Blade will join Bork Bjornson, who is also retiring this season after reportedly inheriting property in the Florida Keyes.

In the wake of the Floggity trade, officials are said to be excited about it creating new opportunities for Safety Cameron Taylor, who experts expect to benefit the most from this trade. The Yellowknife staff is apparently impressed with Cameron’s efforts since joining the team. Many were surprised to see the Wraiths utilize their 1st round pick this year on a Safety after already being deep at the position, but sources inside their camp say that the team strongly believed that Taylor was easily the “best player available” and that he would find a way to benefit the team regardless of his role. The Wraiths’ sudden trade of a player like Floggity suggests that the team’s trust in Taylor has been validated and that they have enough faith in him as a player to reward him with a larger role. Taylor currently holds claim to 22 tackles, 2 pass deflections, and an interception, but if his role within the team is indeed expanding, we expect those numbers to grow considerably.

Thank you to all of our followers for your support in this newsletter. We’re aiming to produce another one for the end of the season, at which point we hope to see our Wraiths locked into the play-offs and that much closer to an Ultimus Championship.


Ready for Grading
1,330 Words

GRADED
Jan 9 2018, 12:02 PM
After an incredible 3-0 start to S5, the Wraiths’ fanbase is as fired up as ever. To capitalize on this fanfare and make this season even more exciting, Yellowknife management has decided to open up a write-in campaign to allow local fans to help us choose a new slogan. Yellowknife already holds claim to the term “Wraiths Nation” as well as the recently popularized “2 Spooky 4 U” that rose to prominence last season.

Due to a miscommunication on the IT side, the poll was opened up to users across the web, though they did have to go through the official Wraiths website. Users from outside of the Northwest Territories and even Canada itself were directed to the poll via user-driven movement from sites like Facebook, Reddit, and 4chan. Initially believing this to be a surge in team popularity and not an internet prank, Yellowknife Management compiled the results without consideration for the voters’ IP location, resulting in the following top 5 categories:

Cash Me Outside
Git Gud
Neva Freeze
Porgs
xx420xxBlazeIt


Initially baffled by these and other voter suggestions, the Wraiths’ team began to research the topics written in by the users. The most popular topic, “Neva Freeze” appeared to be connected to the popular meme “Ugandan Knuckles Warrior Tribe”, whose fans use the chat program “VRChat” and appear as a short, deformed version of a character from the video game Sonic the Hedgehog. The players use these deformed avatars to cluck and spit at other players and shout phrases like “Find the queen”, “We will never freeze”, and “You do not know the way”.

After much hard work, the IT team was able to filter down the user suggestions to only those from within the Canadian Northwest Territories, resulting in the following suggestions taking top place:

(Polar) Bear Down
Canada’s Team
Pound the Ice
Storied Past, Bright Future
We Don’t Get Cold Very Easily


This time, oddly enough, the highest suggested topic this time was “We Don’t Get Cold Very Easily”. The leading slogan was an odd one for an international football team slogan and it was first thought to be a local bastardization of the popular meme suggested above, but after discussion with several local Yellowknife residents, it was determined that many of them did not know what a “Ugandan Knuckles” was and that they were simply just proud of the fact that they didn’t get cold very easily.

The IT Team showed the results to Wraiths Management, who were surprised to see the spirit of the two most popular slogans end up being essentially the same. And after much debate, a decision was made.

Even though local turnout exceeded all expectations, team management admitted that the Canadian slogan did indeed lack the touch of an international slogan and that the open-user suggestion had more mass appeal. Despite the inclusion of many memes in this write-in campaign, the Wraiths recognize the passion of all their fans, both local and far away, as well as the passion of the Ugandan “bruddhas” directed to the campaign from various websites frequented by their community. And, as such, the Wraiths are happy to announce that the new slogan will be…


NEVER FREEZE


Thank you to all of our fans for your continued support. We all hope that users led to us through other outlets will continue to follow the Wraiths and join our own ever-expanding tribe of fans. Wraiths Nation is still proud to be “2 Spooky 4 U” and is now ready to tell our opponents that we will “Never Freeze”.

Legal Notice: Yellowknife Management would like to specify that they do not condone the harassment or spitting on of other people in any setting, virtual or otherwise.

616 Words
Ready for Grading

GRADED
Jan 5 2018, 02:23 PM


New Sig
Jan 2 2018, 11:41 PM
BOT ONE
First Name: Melvin
Last Name: Mushing
Position: OL - Tackle
Jersey Number:
Height (ft.): 6'7"
Weight (lbs.): 350lbs
Player Archetype: Run Blocker (Eg. Taylor Lewan, Zach Martin)
TPE Available: 550
(MAX: 100) - Strength: 70 +26 = 96 (240 TPE)
(MAX: 70) - Agility: 45 +25 = 70 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 25) - Arm: 1
(MAX: 85) - Intelligence: 60
(MAX: 25) - Throwing Accuracy: 1
(MAX: 60) - Tackling: 35
(MAX: 70) - Speed: 40 +25 = 65 (40 TPE)
(MAX: 50) - Hands: 20
(MAX: 90) - Pass Blocking: 55 +35 = 90 (180 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Run Blocking: 75 +7 = 82 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Endurance: 60
(MAX: 25) - Kick Power: 1
(MAX: 25) - Kick Accuracy: 1



BOT TWO
First Name: Alexandre
Last Name: Rchon
Position: OL - Tackle
Jersey Number:
Height (ft.): 6'7"
Weight (lbs.): 350lbs
Player Archetype: Run Blocker (Eg. Taylor Lewan, Zach Martin)
TPE Available: 550
(MAX: 100) - Strength: 70 +26 = 96 (240 TPE)
(MAX: 70) - Agility: 45 +25 = 70 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 25) - Arm: 1
(MAX: 85) - Intelligence: 60
(MAX: 25) - Throwing Accuracy: 1
(MAX: 60) - Tackling: 35
(MAX: 70) - Speed: 40 +25 = 65 (40 TPE)
(MAX: 50) - Hands: 20
(MAX: 90) - Pass Blocking: 55 +35 = 90 (180 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Run Blocking: 75 +7 = 82 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Endurance: 60
(MAX: 25) - Kick Power: 1
(MAX: 25) - Kick Accuracy: 1



BOT THREE
First Name: Samson
Last Name: Pooky
Position: OL - Guard
Jersey Number:
Height (ft.): 6'7"
Weight (lbs.): 350lbs
Player Archetype: Run Blocker (Eg. Taylor Lewan, Zach Martin)
TPE Available: 550
(MAX: 100) - Strength: 70 +28 = 98 (270 TPE)
(MAX: 70) - Agility: 45 +25 = 70 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 25) - Arm: 1
(MAX: 85) - Intelligence: 60
(MAX: 25) - Throwing Accuracy: 1
(MAX: 60) - Tackling: 35
(MAX: 70) - Speed: 40 +25 = 65 (40 TPE)
(MAX: 50) - Hands: 20
(MAX: 90) - Pass Blocking: 55 +31 = 86 (140 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Run Blocking: 75 +8 = 83 (55 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Endurance: 60
(MAX: 25) - Kick Power: 1
(MAX: 25) - Kick Accuracy: 1



BOT FOUR
First Name: Bob
Last Name: Ones
Position: OL - Guard
Jersey Number:
Height (ft.): 6'7"
Weight (lbs.): 350lbs
Player Archetype: Run Blocker (Eg. Taylor Lewan, Zach Martin)
TPE Available: 550
(MAX: 100) - Strength: 70 +28 = 98 (270 TPE)
(MAX: 70) - Agility: 45 +25 = 70 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 25) - Arm: 1
(MAX: 85) - Intelligence: 60
(MAX: 25) - Throwing Accuracy: 1
(MAX: 60) - Tackling: 35
(MAX: 70) - Speed: 40 +25 = 65 (40 TPE)
(MAX: 50) - Hands: 20
(MAX: 90) - Pass Blocking: 55 +31 = 86 (140 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Run Blocking: 75 +8 = 83 (55 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Endurance: 60
(MAX: 25) - Kick Power: 1
(MAX: 25) - Kick Accuracy: 1



BOT FIVE
First Name: Tim
Last Name: Amper
Position: OL - Center
Jersey Number:
Height (ft.): 6'7"
Weight (lbs.): 350lbs
Player Archetype: Run Blocker (Eg. Taylor Lewan, Zach Martin)
TPE Available: 550
(MAX: 100) - Strength: 70 +28 = 98 (270 TPE)
(MAX: 70) - Agility: 45 +25 = 70 (45 TPE)
(MAX: 25) - Arm: 1
(MAX: 85) - Intelligence: 60
(MAX: 25) - Throwing Accuracy: 1
(MAX: 60) - Tackling: 35
(MAX: 70) - Speed: 40 +25 = 65 (40 TPE)
(MAX: 50) - Hands: 20
(MAX: 90) - Pass Blocking: 55 +31 = 86 (140 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Run Blocking: 75 +8 = 83 (55 TPE)
(MAX: 100) - Endurance: 60
(MAX: 25) - Kick Power: 1
(MAX: 25) - Kick Accuracy: 1
Dec 20 2017, 12:02 PM
So, I've been co-GM for almost a week now. Let's open up a presser for anyone curious about my new role and how it will impact the team.

EDIT: This really fell under the radar, I guess. No worries. Consider it closed. I'm not worried about the $25k payment. Besides, we all know I'm actually just here to be bzer's butler and function as the team mascot.
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