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Jun 29 2018, 04:40 PM
Colorado Yeti have been a testmony of failure in the NSFL. Aside from the first two seasons, Colorado has not had a winning season since. They've been in constant rebuild mode but last season they actually showed some signs of life. Sure, they finished 6-8 and last in their division but 6 wins is more than they've gotten since season 2. And with the way Philly has blown up their roster, and the downward slide that Baltimore has been on, Colorado might be able to make playoffs next season. Here's the positonial run down.


Last season the Yeti had Ryan Applehort at QB again. His stats weren't outstanding, but they're a vast improvement from his rookie season. In S7 he posted a 4-21 TD to Interception ratio. This past season he improved to 13-14 ratio. Still much room for improvement, but the progress has to be noted and rewarded. Applehort looks to be on a positive trend upwards and in 2 seasons could be around where Oles and Borkus were this season.


Dwayne Aaron and Howard Miller make up the primary receivers for the Yeti. They're very comparable in terms of TPE and production, and they're both young. As they improve, they're on pace to be a seriously great tandem or receivers. But they don't have a reliable 3rd option. They've relied on Brian Wheat or Kenny Omega for seasons and they're borderline useless. Picking up a 3rd young receiver or a TE who can take pressure off the young qb is check down situations would make this offense so much better.


The Yeti took a huge talent in the S7 draft with Mark Grau. They were anchored by Boss Tweed for so long, it was inconceivable that anyone could fill his shoes. When Tweed was traded, Grau had to step up. And he sure has. As a rookie, he split time with Damien Kroetch. With half the time, he ran for about 800 yds and 4 TDs and caught 277 yds and 1 TD. Just like with the receivers, in 2 seasons, Grau will be a force to be reckoned with.


The Yeti Defensive line is rather healthy. Ricardo Sandoval, Dan Miller, Nicholas Peirno and Eli Kamaka are all solid players. Miller is fighting regression but even with that he's better than most DTs despite that setback. Sandy and Kamaka are powerful and Pierno is the weakest link and he's still pretty good. Soon, they'll need to get someone to replace Miller but not for another year or so. It's not a pressing need.


Like the front 4, Linebacker is well set for the Yeti. Saint, Ishigawa and Ramero are talented and unless Saint retires suddenly, they'll be set for another couple years. Like with the Defensive Line, maybe replace Saint eventually via Free Agency or rookie, this team's linebacking corps is very well set for a good while.


This is where the Yeti are thin. Aside from Andre Bly Jr. they're woefully underwhelming. They have no other big name at CB and a mediocre Michael Tillman at Safety. They were hoping Bobby Ruckus would be a generational talent but he's seemingly lost all interest in the site. Desta Danger hasn't been a big TPE earner but if he starts updating he would really help out this depleted secondary.

Special Teams

Micycle McCormick is one of the best kickers this league has ever seen. If he maintains this, he'll be the next Turk Turkleton. He's pretty reliable and worth mentioning in this because he's a reliable weapon that the Yeti will need if they want to vie for the NSFC championship in the coming future.


Colorado is on the rise. They're set for the next few seasons on offense and aside from a depleted secondary, they're pretty set on defense. They're in a much better shape than Baltimore and Philadelphia and about where Yellowknife is but they're trending a little more downward than Colorado. I can see the Yeti being in the Ultimus game in the next 2 seasons.

Draft Prediction

Obviously CB or S would be the most pressing need, but a WR to help Aaron and Howard Miller or DE/DT to eventually replace Dan Miller would be the logical move. But if they feel a QB who has a brighter, faster, future is there, they might opt to take them and move Applehort to a different position.
Jun 29 2018, 02:34 AM
This is part of a several part series I'll be doing leading up to the draft. I wanna get all 8 teams in, but who knows.

The NSFL has undergone a bit of a power shift over the last 2 seasons. In the first 6 seasons of the NSFL, the ASFC was basically Arizona and Orange County and then two other teams tripping over their own shoelaces. San Jose tried some sort of big power moves a cuple seasons ago but their attempt fell flat. The Legion took a different approach. Blow it up and start from scratch. And given their appearance in the Ultimus game, and their roster of storng vets and decent talent, it's seems to have worked. Since S6, Arizona has fallen to the wayside and are currently in a bit of a rebuild themselves. This leaves the ever present Orange County Otters.

Never in the history of this league has the Otters been considered a non-threat. They're definitely one of the premier franchises of the league. winning 3 straight asterisk free championships will do that to a team. 4 straight Ultimus appearances, and never missing the playoffs certainly commands respect. But the mighty have to fall eventually. right? Especially as regression takes hold of the key players who made Orange County the stalwart in this league. Not so fast.

Let's look at positions.


Mike Boss has been the bar for how a QB performs in this league for quite a while. Even as other guys do great, like Akselsen, Bronko and Oles, they still don't have the level of play Boss has. but he's a S1 player and he's going to have to statistically decline at some point. Well, Orange County has that covered. By league rules, their GM must be drafted this season. Gus T.T. Showbiz is destined to be an Otter. After 1 more year in the DSFL, he'll be ready to take over under center in sunny Southern California.


Who is he going to throw to? Well, for Boss it has been a combination of Westfield and Phelps. no duo of receivers has been more feared for as long as these two have been. Both were, at one point in their careers, the NSFL's best receiver. considering they are both playing on the same team, that's incredible. it's like having Randy Moss and Terrell Owens on your team. At the same time. But, as their age gets up there, the Otters have found their solution. Enter Carlito Crush and Tegan Atwell. Atwell showed off some really flashy moves as she transitioned from CB to WR this season. Bpth of these players are young and good to be catching passes for quite a while. Any 3rd receiver can fit in at TE. I believe Phelps or Crush sat in at TE for some formations.


Typically this is called a Running Back, but the way OC plays, it's more of a Catching Back. That said, Running Back might be an issue, but to be quite fair, this team hasn't been a "running team" in a long time. Yates is definitely fighting regression and will likely retire in the next couple seasons. This leaves a hole to fill and it's one that Burnsman's inactivity can not fill. So, if there's a hole on this offense going forward, it's at RB. But there's always good talented RBs in every draft. Orange County will be sure to pick one up, or find a Free Agent who's looking to get on a winning franchise and help out. That's always an option. Worked out really well for Yates.

All things considered, the Offense doesn't look like it's going to take too much of a step back overall. Boss's transition to Gus Showbizz might make them take a small hit but I think overall they'll be competent.


The Otters Defensive front might be in bad shape soon. Clegane, Fitzfatrick, Sierra and Wright are all either regressing or inactive. If Orange County wants to keep up, they're going to have to fill these holes, and fast. Clegane and Sierra can likely hold out another season but Wright and Fitzfatrick are an immediate position of need. When the Otters were in their glory, they had one of the best defenses in the NSFL.


Linebacker has always been a strong suit for this Otter team. Over the years they've had some really top tier ones. Winchester and Bavitz being the biggest names. But Bavitz just retired and Winchester is gonna have to face regression again this season. Elvin Enchant has gone inactive but young Mason Brown has shown some serious potential and is looking like a wonderful fill in for Bavitz. If Angus Winchester hangs up the cleats soon, that's going to be an impossibly large hole to fill on this defense. One that they may need to address sooner rather than later.


Safety and CB aren't glorious positions in the NSFL. Even guys like Lavelle and Delacour aren't big name stars in comparison to LBs and DEs. Still, OCO has had a few good ones. Atwell recently switched to WR, leaving Spector and King as the only CBs left, and at Safety, the team only has young Jaylon Broxton, who has been a huge playmaker, leading the Otters in tackles this season. He's only going to get better too. Eventually the Otters will have to look into replacing Spector, but as of right now he's staying put, as he just inked a 1 year deal with the team this past week.


All in all, for a team "on the way down" as they say, they're in pretty decent shape. No need for a Liberty style fire sale and blow up of the franchise. Just a few good moves by the front office, some solid drafting and they're not going anywhere. it's doubtful they'll be back to their threepeat days any time soon, but one thing is for sure, they're not moving their stuff to the basement either.

Draft Predictions
Look for them to address D-Line, RB or Secondary in the first round, and QB in the second. That is, if they even draft anyone this year. They failed to draft anyone last season, but it seemed to work out for them.
Jun 28 2018, 04:33 PM
A lot of players are reaching the point in their career where they are deciding to retire because of career regression being imminent. I understand this, from a logical point of view. Why spend hard earned TPE on a player making up for lost TPE due to aging. Just recreate and start fresh.

What if we had a "Veteran Appreciation Bonus" that is given to the user? Here's how it'd work.

User A makes a player, Throwy Throwson. Throwson goes through the DSFL and is drafted by the Liberty and plays his career there, maybe gets traded to Colorado or San Jose. whatever. Throwson plays 9 years in the NSFL and decides to hang up his cleats. For taking his player to Regression, User A is given a 10 TPE bonus for every character he creates.

User A makes a new player. Runny Runson, but he now can have 60 TPE to build the character. He does the same thing. Plays his season in the DSFL and plows through the NSFL for 9 years and once he feels regression is too difficult, he hangs up the cleats and calls it a career. For hitting regression again, User A is awarded a 2nd 10 TPE bonus.

User A makes a new player. Sacky Sackson, but now he has 70 TPE to build him with due to taking 2 players to regression. Sacky only plays 5 years before he's sick of it and wants to retire Sacky. Because he did not reach regression, he does not get the Veteran Appreciation Bonus for Sacky.

User A makes Throwy Throwson Jr. He still has 70 TPE to make him. Just because his last recreate wasn't a regression character does not nullify the 20 TPE he earned from the first 2 characters.

This would go on, but cap at 100 TPE, as to to completely offset regression.

Also, I think a TPE earned* Minimum should be implemented, so that inactivity is not rewarded. Like, say, Cooper Christmas has technically been a player in the NSFL since S1. If his user came back, and decided to retire, he'd be ineligible since he does not have the TPE minimum to qualify. What that number is, would have to be determined. 500 TPE earned* sounds reasonable, to me.

* Earned = TPE gained from doing PTs, prediction, Minicamps, etc etc. NOT initial starting TPE.

For most veterans, having the money that stays on the account isn't that big of a big deal. I think having this incentive to give to players who see their careers to regression is a little "Thank you for your appreciation and sticking it out."

Any thoughts on this?

Also... I've been on 3 Otters championship teams, Why do I still only have 2 trophies. Who do I gotta blow to get this rectified?



Users who have a player who plays at least 1 year into regression earn a reusable 10 TPE Veteran Bonus to their recreates.
Veteran Bonus caps at 50 TPE.
Only applies if Player EARNED a specific amount of TPE in their career (500? 600?)
Jun 10 2018, 01:30 AM
Hey, I know my fellow Otters knew I went inactive for a season or so. I wonder if anyone else noticed. Wouldn't be offended if you didn't. But here's my story.

This is real life stuff. Not a fictional story or anything. I have a lung disease and three and a half years ago I received a double lung transplant. it gave me fresh life and a new beginning. But about a month an a half ago I became quite ill. I was diagnosed with pneumonia, which kills a LOT of lung transplant patients. I fought through it and returned home, only to find a week later it came back, and harder. A lot harder. I was gasping for air like I was drowning. I sincerely thought I was going to die one night, as I did my best to explain to my friend in the hospital room with me all the things I wanted at my funeral and how to make the arrangements. I could feel myself getting weaker by the hour. Eventually I go so bad they had to but me on a respirator and fly me to New York City to be treated. I woke up in the ICU with a tube in my mouth and on some seriously heavy stuff. I was hallucinating and nothing made sense. No joke, I thought I was on a naval vessel because there was a circular window and I heard a toot sound once.

Eventually I regained strength and the doctors removed the breathing tube from my throat and I was able to breathe on my own once again. But it was still extremely labored and with oxygen on. As it turns out, in addition to the pneumonia, my lungs also were suffering from rejection. Rejection is when your body's immune system recognizes the new organ as an invader and attacks it. I take medicine that is supposed to prevent it, but sometimes it happens anyways. So, for me, both rejection and infection hit simultaneously. This double whammy should have killed me. I spent the entire month of May in the hospital fighting this combo.

Through a series of different treatments, I was able to stave off further damage to my lungs from rejection and am now in the destroying the bacterial infection that is causing pneumonia part of the battle. I am back home from the hospital and on IV medication. I am still on oxygen and likely will be for the rest of my life. Any sort o exertion is very tiring for me, so getting up and walking to the bathroom makes me feel like you would if you ran down the street as fast as you can. It's annoying to have to catch your breath every time you do a simple task.

Why am I telling you all this? Do I want your sympathy or pity? No. I want to let you all know how fleeting life is, and that no matter how great you are one day, you never know what cards are gonna fall into your hand next. You could get cancer, get hit by a car and paralyzed, or you could win the lottery.

My message is this: Enjoy what you have. Any loved ones you have, cherish them. Tell them you love them. Let them know what you mean to them, because you never truly know what the future brings. You have one life. Go live it. Got a chance to go see a band you love? Go see them, don't put it off. Have a chance to go to that country you love? Go. Forget whatever is gonna hold you back from making memories you're going to cherish for a lot longer than whatever obligations are holding you back (unless it's your kid. Stay if you've gotta ditch your child to do it. Be a good parent.) Go ask that girl or guy out. You literally have nothing to lose. This is your only shot at life, make every decision count.

670 words
Feb 6 2018, 04:17 AM
So, there's a few of these out there. And they might be right. But they're not. Because they suck. I know talent when I see it. One had Poopyface Tomatonose going in the 3rd round. He's a top 10 pick based on that amazing name alone. C'mon Man.

I'm gonna do 2 rounds because I think that's all I feel like doing. Is there more talent than that? Sure. Do I care? Not so much. Without further ado....

Round 1:

1: - NT Norman Bagwell

The team formerly known as the Legion make their first ever pick from New Orleans. Bagwell is a great player who will make an impact immediately. He's a stud. He earns TPE, he's a great locker room guy and he's a defensive lineman. um... NOSL? Need all the help they can get at all positions, really. If he drops anywhere below this pick, it is a travesty and this team should be forced to change their name to something not so stupid.

2: - DE Cordell Joshua

This is another solid player. They could go Mills here too, and it's really a coin flip which is the better guy. Mills has more TPE and is a versatile LB, but they have Saint and Ishigawa at LB so Joshua is a much better fit.

3: - LB Brian Mills

There's 3 guys who I feel are the best in show. 2 of them were already drafted. Mills, in theory, could go first overall but I just felt Bagwell was so good the Legio...dammit. Second Line had to take him, and this kinda gift wraps Mills for the Sabercats. Sharpei is amazing, but next to him they don't have that LB talent to compete. San Jose gets that here with Brian Urlacher ....erm... Mills.

4: - S Bobby Ruckus

I know the Liberty have Marmalade and Flock at safety, but by drafting Ruckus, they can move one to DE and not lose out much at Safety. Safety is a thin class this year, and by thin I mean, only Ruckus. So, even if they don't fit him into the scheme, a Safety hungry team that hoped he'd drop lower might pay a bit of a ransom for him.

5: - QB Austin Roenick

Logan Noble is still somehow a starting QB? Not any more. QB is deep but the need for one isn't. With San Jose resigning Orosz, this basically means the only team that needs a QB is NO (NO is exactly what the head office should have said when they proposed "Second Line") . Fresh Start in a Fresh City needs a Fresh Face leading the offense.

6: - TE Poopyface Tomatonose

Move over Tony Gonzalez and Rob Gronkowski. Here's the best TE ever to step foot on a playing field. Ok, I might be over hyping this dude a bit. But the real talk is that despite the name, this guy can ball. I know it might be hard to take him seriously with a name based off of a Family Guy episode, but I see a big future for this guy. Like DiMirio's replacement as the top TE in a couple seasons, big. Great pickup for the Hawks.

7: - DT Bogdan Wojcik

This might come as a shock, but this pick is based on positional need and fear that he won't be available later on. Both of the Wraiths DTs are inactives with less than 200 TPE. Squamish is active and will be a day 1 starter. Are there higher rated players? Of course. However this team needs a DT more than anything and the only other good one was taken.

8: - TE Glenn McPoyal

Two TEs in the first round is pretty crazy. But the best player I have left on the board is a WR, and considering the Otters are the LEAST needy team for a WR with Phelps and Westfield, and Yates going out of the backfield, a completely active TE is their best bet. Sure they could bolster their already dominant defense, but that's pretty well set. TE is one of the few positions they can actually upgrade in this draft day 1.

Second Round:

1: - WR Dwayne Aaron

They don't exactly need him, but he's WAY too talented to fall here. Yellowknife is the two time reigning NSFC Champions. They'll find a way to integrate his talent, either via a position change or trading Gosh Jarden to a more WR needy team for future picks. Aaron is too good to fall any farther.

2: - RB Carter Bush

Borro Gore has more TPE. Borro Gore played better in the DSFL. Borro Gore, though, isn't run by adam2552. Sometimes you're drafting the guy behind the player as much as you're drafting the player. adam2552 is a veteran in the NSFL and a known commodity. Either RB drafted is gonna split time with Tweed. Might as well take the guy you know.

3: - QB Arbin Asipi Jr.

Is this the end for King Bronko? No. This is a forced pick because he's the GM of the Outlaws. There's no strategy here other than he's being groomed to be the replacement, or they transition Bronko to defense and put Arbin in under Center. Either way, I know this pick is 100% correct... unless there's a trade.

4: - WR Blessed Storm

Another forced pick, with RFFO being a Liberty GM. But he might still be used. Clever use of the name to make fun of None Stormblessed. I kinda wish we had more creative names than this, but whatever. Everyone can do what they want with their name. I hope Blessed Storm has a better career than Stormblessed.

5: - K Forfeit

No, they do not Forfeit this pick. They pick the dude who, like Madonna and 2Pac, goes by one name. Forfeit is the replacement for Lombardi who jumped ship for the Second String... Line. Whatever. Forfeit is the better of two kickers in this draft, but not by a whole lot.

6: - LB Elvin Enchant

Overlooked, Enchant has a great build. He has a solid record of acquiring TPE and he's a stud in the making. Arizona has a knack for finding great talent in the draft, so I expect them to be savvy and take Enchant if he drops this far. A solid pickup for sure.

7: - QB Borkus Maximus III

Another GM forced pick. But wait, Marc! They picked up Roenick in the first round. Why would they draft a QB in 2 straight rounds? Because Borkus isn't gonna stay a QB. Maximus is going to switch positions so that Roenick, the better QB can be the face of the offense and Maximus is going to transition to Defensive Tackle. The ol' Rope-a-dope.

8: - RB Borro Gore

Running Back is one of the deepest positions in this draft. After Gore and Bush, there's still Lil Bot, Robby Rainey, Willy Nyquist and Ross Germo. Gore might be the best talent in this draft. Maybe he does go earlier than this to the Yeti. But Orange County only has 1 RB on the roster after they cut Durden and Burnsman. This leaves only Petrakis as their FB and he's also quite inactive. Gore gives them a power punch to their run game to go along side Yates.

Best talent left:

LB Jack Dwyer
K Micycle McCormick
WR Grey Slax
RB Robby Rainey
RB Lil Bot
WR Antonio Legion
RB Willy Nyquist
QB Mike Vick

So, whatcha all think of this mock? Sucks right? Yeah. It does. Not because the picks are probably wrong but because there's this team called the Second Line now, and it's just a terrible name. Makes this whole league look Second Rate.

(1298 Words)
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