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The Girl With All The Gif[t]s
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Location: Chicago
Born: 18 May 1999
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Soccer. More Soccer. Then Football. Then Soccer. And by then it's Hockey season. Followed by more Soccer. Also, Music sprinkled in between.
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Joined: 30-May 17
Status: (Offline)
Last Seen: Yesterday at 11:33 pm
Local Time: Jul 22 2018, 04:57 AM
1825 posts (4.4 per day)
( 1.32% of total forum posts )
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Jiggly_333

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Jul 16 2018, 09:00 AM
Hi everyone, I'm tired

No you're not, you're Jiggly!

Thank you, my mental image of Aenir which is actually a goomba since his voice reminds me of Gaijin Goomba from Youtube.

Yes, I'm Jiggly; but I am also extremely tired, so I feel like ranting about some things about the league. Do I need the money? Fuck if I know. Do I need the attention? Always, I crave validation due to possible self-image issues and likely self-respect issues (But self-esteem? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY UP HERE!). Do I just want to entertain you? I don't know, ask me when I'm in psycho-analyst mode. Right now I'm feckin tired, bruh.

So, remember this thing? I do. I fuckin loved it. Unfortunately RainDelay allegedly had better things to do than amuse us assholes. I really don't know, but he stopped making them after just three. And it was probably the funniest thing I've ever read on the site! But I'm gonna try to do my best imitation of him. And just to fuck with you guys, as .gif Queen I've decided to make it music based instead of mostly .gifs (although of course there'll be .gifs, come on!)

Fun fact, I just had some cake, because my sister got it half-price for Bastille Day.



Wow, remember when Kirsten Dunst was a thing? Anyways, I guess it's time to get this general roast started. Here's a frequently asked question that I always get:

"Why do you always use .gifs of weird girls and make female characters all the time?"

To which, I could respond: "Gender and sexuality are fluid," but I have absolutely no footing with that argument since I identify with what I was born with and don't exactly have the optics of someone who fights the good fight (some people here do and they are very good people). So I guess I won't take that argument.

One of the other arguments I give is something that explains the .gifs away with something about my horrible self-image and compensating with the idea of "Everyone wants to be beautiful". But that still doesn't explain the player bit quite well enough. I think that the biggest thing that exemplifies why I did it is because of what we're seeing with this draft class. By going out of my way and creating a different character that many new people wouldn't expect to be even allowed here, I set the way for people who are not straight men to make a more accurate image for themselves. While I'm not saying "Without me, there would be no women in the NSFL," I like to see it as my small apology for being a real piece of shit about women and feminism for a few years in junior high and high school until I finally decided I didn't actually hate everyone. Being a teenager is weird. Wait, shit, I am still a teenager! HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHY DID I ACTUALLY STOP AND THINK ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING?!?!?!?!



So let's get out of that way-too-personal-questions hell-hole! Next up on topics:

"ErMurazor, amirite?"

#heh


Honestly, I'm starting to commend the guy for being able to control all of them. Being a massive part of the league within two different accounts and controlling like, 5 or 6 more aside from those.
--------------------------------------------------------------
This next bit was censored because the league thought that a single throwaway joke in an article was worse than at least two months of shitposts entirely dedicated to insulting users.


------------------------------------------------------------
So how about this:

"You've only played for one team your entire career. Have you honestly ever considered playing somewhere else?"

No, I have played for another team, they're called the Chicago Blues http://i.imgur.com/THor3cX.png and they were the love of my life. I am actually demanding (along with Muford and maybe ExemplaryChad) that the Solar Bears be moved back to Chicago. Maybe PoloPro can even give an okay for it. I mean, he made it originally as a joke about the '85 Bears going to Florida for retirement, so they're still deeply instilled with a Chicago-based identity.

But back to the question at hand about whether I'll go to a different NSFL team: I don't know. I love the Otters too much. I mean, I helped lay the groundwork for the Otter Slaughter three-peat. Hell, if I didn't make that DSFL team, Lexi Jones would have a very different legacy as a GM. I mean, we still would've had timeconsumer and Molarpistols, so not much would've changed except for some names.

Cool cool, two paragraphs without answering the question. I'M SO GOOD AT THIS! Well, I have considered only two teams.: The Yellowknife Wraiths and the New Orleans Second Line. When Tegan was a free agent last season, I actually pushed both of them hard to sign me, but neither of them could reach my price. Maybe with my player actually performing they might open their hearts and open their wallets.

And if you got that reference


Speaking of St. Vincent, the only reason I want to join the Wraiths is because of Bzerkap. He is clearly the best GM in the league and he s being held back by the Wraiths owners and needs a free spending one like the ones in OC or NOLA. And I like NOLA because they seem to have the best LR atmosphere outside of OCO. Plus, they're a young team that was able to drag themselves out of the shadow of HFFO (the villain of the story). So, I'll tag bovovovo too. Bork bork Bjork, my man.

So we're past 800 words, so I guess I'll try to end this here. I'll probably do another one of these things the next time I'm tired way too early in the day and just need to find something to do. Also, listen to the music. It's good. I linked out to it all for a reason. I promise none of it is my own music and some of it you may even recognize.

Until next time.
Jul 15 2018, 07:18 PM
Still doesn't mean I won't use him against DeathOnReddit because he's a little baby piece of shit who only wants to troll and doesn't actually want to help anyone.



*I removed everything in this article that doesn't mention Asipi.
Jul 10 2018, 05:26 PM
That's right, after at least an hour of complaining, I got my show back. Unfortunately the NSFL Awards were already done, but they didn't do the DSFL Awards yet! So that's what I'm here to do. We're starting in a little over a half hour, so please begin your moderate hype.



DAMMIT, I KNOW THE PRESEASON IS ON, BUT I SAID MODERATE HYPE!!!



Better.
Jul 6 2018, 03:18 PM
So I mentioned something in a post earlier about my favorite ErMurazor multis and have decided to rank them all. Because, why not? No one else has done it yet and I figure by doing this, I can finally get all of my Outlaw hate out of me. We'll start from the bottom and work our way up.

9. Tyron Smith

I don't recognize this name at all, therefore I don't care.

8. Jazzy J

The shittiest Offensive Lineman, but the best Offensive Linewoman, seeing as she was the only one ever. She was one of my favorites solely because of her being the first female character. THat's also why I hate her, because my player was supposed to be the first. Jazzy may have led to Leroy retiring so that I could finally create Tegan, but that doesn't mean I didn't screw her life over as well! I drafted her first overall in the first DSFL Draft and subsequently realized she was shit. But then I dragged her over to the Coyotes for the "Los Lobos Incident" to just further punishment. I was literally beating a dead horse. Fun, right? Anyway, her auto-retirement spurred this piece, so yay Jazzy!

7. Brokk Lee

This guy was a good lineman, right? I think so. I don't remember which side of the ball he was on, but he was supposed to be good, right? Eh.

6. Jaxon Tuck

Honestly, how did people not know that this guy was a Jayce Tuck multi? I mean, it was right in front of us and it took a thorough investigation to finally prove it. I remember this name being a good player.

5. Matt James

I kind of forgot what this guy did and what his story is. What I do vaguely remember is that he was a part of the downfall of Er when his graphics style looked almost identical to Tim Pest's. That gives him this honorable Top 5 spot.

4. Luke Luechly

This guy was the frat boy, right? Yeah. Everyone liked him or hated him. He also apparently was very close to Defensive Rookie of the Year. Good for him. A well established character with some decent skills on the field.

3. Pat Pancake

This guy was apparently one of TC's favorite linemen (who weren't named Angus or Clegane). He had a great build and was one of the most dominant lineman on the site. If only he used Pancake's build for Jazzy. Although, then Tegan wouldn't be the first decent woman in the NSFL. What was I saying again? Oh yeah, Pancake was good.

2. Christiano Ronaldo

This multi holds a special place in my heart. Not only did he message me multiple times about wanting to be drafted by the Otters, he then guilt-tripped me for the rest of his career about not drafting him. But not only that, Ronaldo actually changed the game as we know it in the special teams department. One of the few high TPE earners to perform well, he was perpetual Punter of the Year. So much so, that even without him being a multi, I really think that trophy should be named after cause DAMN! Team genuinely had to gameplan against a PUNTER when he was playing.

1. Tim Pest

The man who kickstarted the beginning of the end for the Er multi franchise. One of the active multis, Tim Pest was almost as ingrained in the league as the main man himself, taking a job as a member of the graphics grading team. But not only that, he was one of Er's best characters. He was a foreign person who allegedly couldn't speak English very well. I'm guessing that this sort of thing was accomplished with feeding lines into Google translate, translating them into other languages, and then back to English (At least, that's what I do for Anna Joosten). Overall, he was a big proponent for the league, enough that when we lost Er, we lost two key pieces to the league.

CODE
653 words
Jul 6 2018, 01:35 PM
RIP the first ever pick in the DSFL Draft and my second favorite ErMurazor multi (Sorry, Ronaldo was better). I dragged her corpse around the DSFL because I guess I needed some sort of a hobby. She continued to suck until her dying breath, because that's what happened to Er multis who didn't play for the Outlaws. Not only was she the first woman in the league, but she was also the first and one of the last Chicago Blues players. The Chicago Blues continue to be survived by http://imgur.com/LWhJhPh.png CB-turned-WR Tegan Atwell, http://i.imgur.com/aVlKvow.png LB Haruki Ishigawa, and http://i.imgur.com/B7k4poD.png House Ghost Alexandra Jones.

Live look at what Lexi's been working on since her retirement:


http://i.imgur.com/THor3cX.png
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